When There’s Nothing Left To Hold Onto 1987 Oil on hardboard 89 x 50 cm A depiction of one the blackest moments of my youth. I think I was the same age as van Gogh when he took his own life - I have always identified myself with Vincent van Gogh. At the time, I didn’t know I was an alcoholic. I’d finished all the drink I had, and walked 2 miles with our dog to the local village in order to buy some more. I got to the shop as they were closing. I knocked at the door hoping for some human kindness – they ignored me – so I walked back home haunted by my personal demons which I symbolized as an amorphous rendering of my childhood totem, Jonah, along with my companion through the dark night of my soul, Chunga, our German Shepherd. She could as easily have been Anubis. But I think I came pretty close to ‘Crows Over The Cornfield’ that night, and I am very fortunate to have survived. |